I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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