Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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