U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
