Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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