I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
