You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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