gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Randomize
