Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My balls are so social today.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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