Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
