it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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