my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
