HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
whose ass print is on the piano?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
