How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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