i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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