Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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