i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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