I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's blow job season.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
