just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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