I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
