Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I stole a fireplace last night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
