Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
