Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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