You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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