i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
