just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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