do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
