how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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