Can Purell be used as lube?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
