i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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