you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
