I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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