mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
