at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
