oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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