Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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