Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
