I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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