after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
