I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
