She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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