I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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