We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
