I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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