I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
