people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
