every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize