Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
