the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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