He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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