swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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