I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
