Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Quick, to the slutcave!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
