Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
