I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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