The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
