i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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