Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize