Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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