Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
