all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
