I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
