shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
