We named our party play list daddy issues
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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